my hair is always really ugly and messy and half-frizzy,
but for some reason, i like it that way :)
slowly, slowly, slowly
we sink into the people we swore we would never become. i’m not quite sure what to do.
I am frustrated because I work my ass off right now and it doesn’t feel like anything is paying off. I hate that money is such a big deal and I wish I could be motivated by something better than that. Everything is frustrating.
sadly, i don’t think it will ever happen. it’s hard to be patient any longer.
tomorrow is my first day of practicum, so essentially my very first experience with my career. i am very, very, very excited about this, and while i know it’s because of the novelty of the situation, i have decided that, for the rest of my life, i will always try my best to be THIS excited about my work. it’s easy to get stuck in a rut with your job, but i really hope that i will always see everyday i work as an opportunity to hold someone’s hand, to show that i care, and to make a difference. i’ve chosen this path for a reason, and it’s weird but i truly feel like i am MEANT to do this.
our professor told us last year that school psychology isn’t one of those careers you choose because you want to work your way up, be promoted someday and make more money. we will probably never be promoted or see significant increase in our incomes. but we choose this career because it is our calling. we genuinely feel passionate about what we do and that’s all that really matters. it’s really a career fueled by passion and i hope i will always feel this way.
nothingness is very scary.
i’ve been filling a lot of my alone time with very haunting and unsettling thoughts of the emptiness of nothing, of space, of death.
i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i keep trying to shut them out but they creep back somehow.
maybe it’s time i come to terms with these things.
Last day of summer. I’m a little sad we didn’t get to spend this night kissing and talking by the seaside like we did last year. That will always be one of my favorite memories of us. I hope this new year will bring more happiness and more good memories. Bye bye summer 2013!
the beginning of 2012 holds some of my favorite memories.
i didn’t have you, but i got to see you every day and i thought about you constantly. i think the best part was actually around may, because the weather started to get a little warmer and everything was bright, hopeful, exciting. you didn’t know yet but you were everything i had ever wanted.